I thought we'd do something a little bit different this time out. I've been procrastinating terribly on putting together the UT Contata report, mainly because I'd already read an excellent report by Mark Osier, which he presently doesn't have time to get up over on his website, so I thought it would be fun to post a con review together! So, with Mark's blessing, I'm going to post part of his con report with UT comments added. - Allison
Mark: Hmmm... what can I say about Contata?
Allison: My favorite quote from Jodi at Contata: "Mark wants to kill us! I'm so happy!" :).
Jodi: It's so much *fun* getting under Mark's skin. We'll have to do that more often. ;)
Mark: OK, that was the short version. Here is the slightly longer version... Got to the airport Friday morning about 8:15am, expecting to wait for my flight. However, I discovered an 8:45 flight to Newark, so popped on that one and managed to get to Newark about the time my original flight would have left. Took a shuttle from the airport (it was too early for anyone to give me a ride) and finally showed up at the hotel. The manager greeted me at the desk (she was VERY energetic, and surprisingly helpful) and showed me to my room. After retuning my guitar (always tune down to travel, eh?) I played a few songs ("I Will Cry" and "All I Said", both by the McKrells, for anyone who cares) and then went to the hotel resturant for lunch.
Allison: UT caught their flight out of Toronto at 1:00 pm. Kind of a bumpy turbulent flight.The trip didn't bother me at all (which is kind of strange, since I'm the one who usually doesn't like to fly), but both Deb and Jodi felt kind of oogy after the flight.
Debbie: "Oggy". That's a good word.
Jodi: I'm not usually "oogy" after flights. It was pretty amusing (AFTERWARDS) to realize that Allison - the one of all three of us that hates flying to most - was perfectly fine through the whole turbulent trip!
Allison: Bruce Adelson met us at the airport and drove us back to the con hotel (thanks so much, Bruce!). We settled in for the weekend and then went in search of filkers.
Mark: After lunch (turkey club which was VERY good)
Jodi: If it was, it was probably the only thing. (chuckle)
Mark: I took a nap and around 2pm stumbled down the hall to the consuite, where SteveMac and a few others were hanging out. Funny story - it was the birthday of one of the women there and someone had given her the Marvin Martian "Happy Birthday Earthling" cards. While Steve grabbed his guitar, I recited the card to her in my best Marvin voice from across the room - she was rather amazed. Then we all sang "happy birthday". I fled the room as the SCA birthday song was begun. Sometime later, UT showed up and began hassling me.
Jodi: Always a pleasurable pasttime. ;)
Debbie: (straight-faced) It's one of our goals in life, you know.
Mark: I had already decided that, as Toastmaster, I had to be NICE to all the attendees of the con, even if they WERE cute and from Toronto. Let me tell you, ladies and gentlemen, my patience was SORELY tried... but I triumphed!
Jodi: (smirk)
Allison: Doesn't Mark say the sweetest things? :) We caught up with Mark, Steve, Jane and assorted others in the con suite and hung around for a few minutes before Deb went to meet with a few of her Inkspot clients for coffee and Jodi and I went in search of food. We all ended up in the hotel restaurant and Jane Mailander joined Jodi and me for chicken sandwiches and fries, too. It was great to spend some time with Jane and we all had a lot of fun.
Mark: Dinner Friday night in the hotel resturant was oodles of fun.
Allison: Agreed! We all played musical chairs and Jane joined another group for dinner and Jodi and I joined Deb, Mark and Steve.
Mark: Not too awful long after that, the "hard work" began. Just an aside - some people view being the Toastmaster as a job that entails simply reading from the program book to introduce the acts and giving a concert. Unfortunately for me, I'm not one of those people. I felt it my job to keep everyone entertained whenever I was up there (which was a HELL of a lot). If any of you EVER are the Toastmaster(s) at a con... I recommend the first approach. You'll be MUCH less tired, eh? (Though have much less fun). The one concert Friday night was Marc Glasser, the listener guest. Fun guy - I got to talk with him briefly, and he LOVES Andy Breckman - did several of Breckman's songs in his concert. After that, I introduced the "doity soicle" and went to my room to get my guitar, visions of "Porno Movies" dancing in my head. When I made it back the circle was HUGE, so I sighed and wandered to the other room. It was "poker chip" bardic.
Allison: UT ended up in that circle, too (our repetoire of "dirty songs" being -very- limited :)). It's the first poker chip bardic circle I've ever been in and it took me awhile to get used to the format, being used to chaos and all. We all had a good time, though, and met some fun new people. One of the highlights of that filk for me was Gary E.'s parody of "TeenyBopper Love" called "Middle-Aged Love" :). It was a hoot. Go check it out on Gary's webpage. UT sacked out around 2am.
Jodi: Not yet tired enough to begin telling Xena stories...
Mark: Woke up the next morning and met UT for breakfast.
Allison: 'Twas fun :).
Mark: Saturday morning, things started off slow, and I was getting worried. The first two concerts were very poorly attended, much to the dismay of the performers, who had worked hard to prepare. My concert was the third of the day, and I was looking forward to an empty room, when all of a sudden... WHAM! The room filled up right near the end of the second concert. I guess everyone had finally finished breakfast or something...
Debbie: Either that, or they were all as excited about heckling you as we were!
Allison: We arrived late in the main room after tuning up and warming up, etc. Mark was just about ready to take the stage...
Mark: Nobody had arranged to introduce me, so I told Allison to do it. She grabbed her partners and proceeded to do "Parody Man" as my introduction. I wanted to, at the same time, kill them and crawl under a rock in embarassment. But I persisted.
Jodi: (exchanging a knowing wink with Allison and Debbie...) Suuuuuure you did.
Allison: Unbelievable that Mark handed UT that opportunity, but we grabbed it in a second :). We had written a satire about Mark called "ParodyMan" to sing during our concert, but singing it as Mark's intro was just perfect :). Little did Mark know we had other tributes to come... :}
Mark: Set list:
Allison: Mark and Steve's antics were really funny to watch from the audience :). Go check out the photos of the moment over on Gary McGath's webpage. Another highlight of Mark's concert for me was line dancing with Steve to "Klingon Country Love" :). I won't be giving up my day job to take up country dancing anytime soon :).
Mark: ANYway, next up was UT, and when I looked at my watch, I realized I'd been allowed to run WAY over and didn't have time to do my "Battle On" parody as their introduction. Which was sad, because "Battle On" was their FIRST song in their set (I knew this ahead of time because Debbie was foolish enough to post their set list in her blatherings) and it would have been GREAT. Oh well.
Debbie: Yeah, it was so sad. I cried buckets.
Jodi: Allison and I both looked at Debbie in utter horror when Mark said that to us...
Allison: OK, you all must see the parody anyway. Check out the UT lyric page for our original lyric to "Battle On!" (which is our Shangri-La-esque Xena song). Here's Mark's lost and lamented parody introduction:
Mark: Did "The Secret Rose" with them - always fun.
Allison: We first did "The Secret Rose" with Mark at an SCA event a few years back. It was fun to be able to do the song together in concert.
Jodi: Yes. Mark is quite the hunk in garb. ;) (How many times did I say that from the stage? I thought it needed to be here too. (grin))
Mark: Then came the middle of their set when they held up this... this... VILE, BLASPHEMOUS, HIDEOUS BASKET-THING FROM HELL!!!!
Allison: Boy, such reactions sure made Contata a lot of fun for UT :). HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
Mark: Actually, the basket was kinda cute.
Allison: UT had put together a "Mark Osier Tribute Basket" to be auctioned off at the Interfilk auction. We included a tape of UT singing songs by Mark, a candy brain on a stick, Little Debbie peanut butter bars, two small teddy bears, etc. The highlight of the package was the MarkO Tribute scrapbook. In the scrapbook we put poems, cartoons, photos and letters from assorted friends of their impressions of Mark. It was good fun to put together and even more fun to spring on him at the con :).
Mark: But as I'm sitting there, realizing that UT could have put any NUMBER of REALLY humiliating things in that scrapbook, I also realized that since *I* was the Interfilk Auctioneer for the con, *I* would have to auction it off! Not only could I *NOT* bid on it, it was my JOB to make sure OTHER people DID! UT could not have planned a greater irony.
Allison: Boy, was that unintentional, though!
Jodi: But PERFECT! :) :)
Allison: We had no idea that Mark would be auctioning off his own basket until we got to the con! UT took a break after our concert (unfortunately, I missed Jane's origami workshop :( , though I did pick up a leftover origami Enterprise when I went into the workshop room later :)). I heard the second half of Gary Elrich's concert and I enjoyed it a lot. Also heard Jane's Interfilk concert and it was great fun. It was one of my first opportunities to hear Jane's music and I was really impressed with her lyrics, especially her "Ed Wood" song and her sf parody of "We Didn't Start The Fire" (you've gotta hear this song!). SteveMac's GOH concert was wonderful, as always.
Mark: SteveMac pulled me, UT, and Jane up to do "Journey's Done" and "To Touch a Star".
Allison: That was a lot of fun to do.
Jodi: Yup. Always a blast singing with Mark. Always a blast singing with Steve. Put 'em both together and the feeling can't be beat. (Well... ok. By *certain* things. But it's a stretch. ;))
Mark: Then we all got ready for the banquet.
Allison: As UT was on a really strict con budget, we had to settle for pizza in our hotel room. And a two hour nap to gear up for the evening :).
Jodi: BOY did we need that nap! We were all out like a light.
Mark: And boy, did YOU luck out. The company was good, but the food was AWFUL... Then, of course, came the Interfilk auction. We'd done a "warm up" auction earlier in the day, but THIS was the part where I REALLY tried to get the prices up. Ever try to be entertaining for an hour using nothing but props OTHER PEOPLE provide for you? It was a challange, but it was a BLAST. Plus, it's a MAJOR power trip, eh? Some Interesting items: UT's basket - the top money bringer at $110
Allison: UT was acting as runners for the auction (with green star-shaped deely-boppers on our heads and all) and auctioning off the MarkO basket was particularly fun :). SteveMac led a group in trying to get the basket to give to Mark and Bruce Adelson led a group in trying to get the scrapbook to scan onto the web. Another group tried to get the package to keep in New Jersey. Money was flying all around between the three groups until Steve and Bruce decided to team up and give the basket to Mark -and- also scan the book onto the web :). So watch for it, it should show up sometime soon :).
Mark: Have any of you ever had to auction off an item that is so personally embarassing? Write me with your stories! Other items:
Allison: UT started in the main filk room and we enjoyed singing in there and nibbling on Mike Browne truffles- mmmmm.... As the circle got larger, we moved into the alternate room as well (I am a sucker for SteveMac's rock jams and this one was even more amazing than most). I was particularly happy to hear Howard Katz sing for the very first time in that circle, it was fun to accompany him on Scott Snyder's "I Play Magic Now". We also partied and filked until VERY late, with Jodi and I crashing an hour or so before Deb ran out of steam.
Jodi: Yup. Now THAT night we were certainly tired enough to be telling Xena stories... Right Debbie? ;)
Debbie: I have no idea what you're talking about, my dear doomed partner...
Mark: Got up Sunday morning (a mere 4 hours after going to sleep) and staggered down to meet UT for another breakfast.
Allison: Now that Mark is living in Vermont, we don't get to see him nearly enough :). It was fun to have these leisurely meals together at Contata. Around mid-afternoon we also had a chance to leave the hotel for about an hour to go have lunch with Steve at a local diner, which was nice.
Mark: Thank God programming on Sunday was pretty light, because I was STILL Toastmaster, after all, and had to keep things going. There were two "mini-concerts" and the one shots (which were kinda fun, even through my sleep-depressed haze). Once the concom took over with the "Comments/Suggestion" part of things, I went to the back of the room and crashed... HARD.
Allison: It was fun to listen to the mini-concerts and just mellow out on Sunday afternoon. UT found we had a half a bottle of cherry brandy left from Saturday night and we were perplexed with what to do with it, not wanting to take it back home. So, we offered it to Mike Browne and he said he'd make it into truffles sometime in the future :). So, watch out for cherry brandy truffles :). Mike also kindly gave UT a package of truffles to take home with us. Naturally, that package of truffles never even made it to the plane :).
Mark: Eventually, people started a filk circle again, but for most of it I vegged out. Right at the end I grabbed SteveMac's guitar and did a "mini-set" of about 6 tunes all in a row (which was a bunch of fun, btw).
Allison: I enjoyed the circle on Sunday afternoon, too. UT didn't sing anything, but it was nice to just sit back and listen to folks like Mark, Steve and Gary E..
Mark: Sometime in there, Mike Browne gave me a package of truffles to give to Kathy. While I was zombified, Allison stole them. I never saw them again. She may SAY she returned them, but Kathy has looked through all my luggage TWICE (even my guitar case!) and they're not here. Wherever they are, I hope that SOMEONE (or some three maybe? *grin*) is enjoying them, 'cuz when Kathy finds out who she's gonna have to kill, I think. (note: The *REAL* thief has since been identified... sorry Allison)
Allison: Some friend :), wouldn't believe me when I said I gave them back, but I -was- vindicated! A day or so after Mark first wrote this report, we all got a horrified and apologetic letter from Debbie saying she had just found Mark's truffles where she had accidentally stuffed them in the side pouch of her suitcase. A likely story :). At least it takes -me- out of the range of Kathy's revenge!
Debbie: I found the truffles on top of my suitcase (no one has confessed to putting them there, interestingly enough) and assumed they were ours, so I packed them. Boy, did I feel guilty when i found out they were Mark's! Not guilty enough to keep me from eating them, of course. :-)
Mark: Caught a ride to the airport with UT and Gary, then hopped on my plane.
Allison: ... still carrying his tribute basket, saying he refused to take it apart because he wanted Kathy to see it intact :). We had dinner in the airport with Gary and then hopped onto our plane. Thanks so much for the ride, Gary, and the fun both in the car and in the airport!
Mark: Kathy met me at the airport, took me out to dinner, and asked me all about the con. Staggered home, passed out, got up the next day and went to work.
Allison: I faced every guitarist's worst nightmare when UT got to the TO airport- my guitar didn't arrive with me :( and no one seemed to know where it was except that it never left Newark with us. I had to go home without it :(. Blessedly, I got a call the next morning saying they found it and they had it safe in my hands by that evening! Thank God! I think I lost a year off my life that night! Back to the con... Huge thanks to the Contata concom for the great work they did on the con, giving us all the chance to have such a great time! And thanks for letting UT be a part of Contata's programming- we had fun! And now I'm giving Mark the last word :) :
Jodi: Wow! How generous, Allison! And BRAVE! (giggle)
Debbie: Suicidal, I'd say...
Mark: Some Lessons Learned: 1) Don't give those UT babes too much leverage - they'll use it. 2) Being a Toastmaster is MUCH more work than being an Interfilk guest.... 3) I even hate banquets when I'm a guest.... 4) Being an auctioneer is a MAJOR power trip and a LOT of fun. 5) You can be anyone from Beethoven to Yoko Ono, but if you sing a song about deformed animals, the crowd will love you and sing along. 6) I'll get you UT, and your little dog Toto too!!!! THE END